President of the Christians

Well, Bravo, Brother! You’ve done a great job of painting a picture of yourself as a physically pathetic individual who’s been given the short end of the stick. Today, your readers will know the truth. I emerge from your shadow to reveal that not only are you physically pleasing, but your life has been one award and achievement after another.

Fans and Family, let me introduce myself. My first name is “Aren’t you Greg’s little sister?” My middle name is, “He is such a great guy.” This is often abbreviated to “Godly.” My last name is, “Tell him we said, ‘Hi! – we’re praying for him.’” For short, you can call me Shelbi. Let me just say, it doesn’t escape me that I share the same name as his wife.

I’ll start from the beginning…the grand state of Texas. I coasted through life, enjoying a bumpless road until the 2nd grade. Greg and I are 3 years apart, so that would put Greg in the 5th grade. At this time, through a series of illnesses, it was discovered that Greg has 3 heart defects. Before any of you shed tears…please know that Beloved is fine. This diagnosis was the best thing to happen to the medical community and the worst thing to happen to me. Greg has been called a “medical marvel,” “a modern day miracle,” and “God’s most creative creation.” He was the buzz of our town and a permanent prayer request of our small church. Greg was deemed the holy child created for greatness. I overheard one lady tell a visitor of our church, “It’s as if the Lord is pumping Greg’s heart with his own two hands.” In the same breath she told the visitor as they both glanced at me, “She must be going through an early puberty!”

“Greg the great” did not disappoint! In the years to follow it was discovered that Greg had a singing voice that was “schooled by the angels.” He could write music that made old men think of better days and he could preach sermons that drew crowds like Billy Graham. The “medical miracle” was sixteen and it was said of him that he was gifted, talented, and called. It was said of me that maybe it wasn’t baby fat after all!

When we were teenagers, my dad got a job offer in Ohio. I was the only kid in our family that was excited. Finally, I was going to a place that knew nothing of Greg and his wimpy heart that was “created for Christ’s cause.” When the town found out, they were devastated to lose him. The closer the time came to our leaving, the more baked goods arrived for “Greg’s” trip to Ohio. I was given sugarless gum. I was packed and ready for the promise land…ready to leave this desert behind. The day before we were to leave, Greg’s wussy heart freaked out and he ended up in the ICU. Our small church did not take the news well. Tears were shed, knees were bent, and roses sent! Brother delayed my trip a whole week! When we finally did leave, there was a parade for Greg’s big send off. He was given the key to the town. The town is still waiting for the second coming of Greg…the trumpets are waiting to play.

I was an idiot to think that Greg’s reputation would be limited to our small community. Apparently, until we arrived Greg was just an urban myth amongst the northern youth ministers and church ladies. Whispers of his arrival spread through Ohio like Aslan’s return to Narnia.

Our new youth minister was smitten! He courted, flirted, and called Greg on a daily basis. He begged Greg to disciple him. Whenever Greg made a comment during a youth gathering the youth minister asked us to remove our shoes, “we were on holy ground.”

One night, our youth group got together to play a game of underground church. Our minister was explaining that there were two teams. One team was the secret police and the other team was the Christians. Each team needed a leader! One idiot shouted out over the crowd, “I say, Greg be President of the Christians!” It was unanimous! Greg was hoisted onto the shoulders of his followers. The cheers and applause delayed the game 30 minutes. I was the last one to be picked for a team. Apparently, weight is considered a handicap.

Youth choir…another light to make Greg shine. Our choir director cried for one full hour after hearing Greg sing. She kept mumbling stuff like “You pray for things, but you never dream of something this precious.” Greg was always on the front row. He sang every solo. We were always silenced during rehearsal, so Greg could demonstrate how the song should sound. I was often told to just be silent. One Sunday evening, our director said we were going to elect officers to represent the choir. The same idiot as above shouts out, “I say Greg be President of the Choir!” Once again, unanimous! We didn’t elect any other officers…ever! It was as if Greg was all the leadership we needed!

As we have gotten older, Greg’s shadow has only gotten bigger and darker. He has continued to chase after God’s heart, striving for a heart like His. In this continuous pursuit, Greg has memorized whole books of the Bible. I have continued to strive to escape the title of “Greg’s little sister.” In order to achieve this, I had to join a Bible study 30 minutes away from the town. My older sister joined and enjoyed with me this weekly escape from Brother’s reputation. One day we (the ladies in our Bible study) were discussing Jewish customs and all the Scripture they committed to memory. A lady my family doesn’t even know stood up and said, “I was convicted to memorize Scripture when I heard that “her brother memorized the whole book of Romans!” Who is “her”? “Her” is me. She was pointing to me, not my sister…she was point to me…only! This was the final straw! Before leaving the study forever I yelled, “He’s just a man!” True story!!

Please don’t get me wrong…I love the guy! He is talented, gifted, and called! But remember – just like all celebrities and movie stars, the “President of the Christians” is just a man!